No one's ever gonna love you more than I do

This past weekend I assumed I would sell most of my CDs. That didn't happen. I only sold 13. It is better than nothing, but it still upset me a little. I need to stop holding high expectations for everything. Wouldn't it be great if we could have high expectations for everything and still get blown out of the water all the time! They say to have low expectations then you can't possibly be disappointed, but what if we always had high ones and were never disappointed? That is what happens with God I think. We have such high expectations for human beings, but with God for some reason we have low expectations. Just because He doesn't do something immediately we assume He's never going to do it, or answer our prayers. We must be persistent. He needs to know our prayers aren't just whims like when my kids used to watch TV and a commercial would come on about any toy they'd all say they want it, but they'd forget about it the next hour. That is exactly how I am with God most of the time. I pray for whims. I mean, at the time they sound good to me, but I forget that I even prayed about it by the end of the day. Things I've been persistent about in prayer are finances, eternity (what it's going to be like), India (i'm terrified), and I don't know what else actually.

Today I got a phone call from the church I sold 13 CDs at this past weekend and someone at that church randomly wrote a check for me and put it in the offering! Not just a little sum of money either! So, it pays to be persistent. God really does have the biggest wallet ever and is free to give money to whomever he chooses, however he chooses. I think it's a confirmation. God is saying "Even though you're not working this month I can still provide you with your weekly salary. Don't worry about a thing. I got this and I love you."

Sometimes I think God is too good to me. I know I don't deserve anything, and even today I was going to fast, but when I woke up I thought, "I could start tomorrow" even though I don't even feel hungry! Here's what I think I'll do. I won't eat out cause I have no money to spare, unless someone feels generous enough to pay for me. Then I'll eat or drink or whatever. But for the next 23 days I'm not paying for anything. Period.

I love sneezing, but I have sneezed around 234 times in the last two days. I'm ready to kill myself. Could someone die of sneezing too much? Maybe.

Peaches is having a dream right next to me. Perhaps she's chasing a squirrel or rabbit somewhere. Maybe my Mom has come home and she's excited to see her. I wonder what dogs could possibly dream about. I dream about crazy intricate things that don't ever make sense once I wake up, but seem so real when I'm asleep. She dreams about bacon and small furry animals. What a life.