November 20, 2009

I am not my own, for I have been made knew

Couldn't I just give away all "my" possessions? Couldn't I just walk everywhere and sleep anywhere? Do I really need money to live in this country? Am I really expected to give money to every Man I come across? There is more than one, oh yes. There are a lot of Men. I want to share with the world that "The Man" has brothers, partners if you will, in his crime of bringing people down. I don't want to owe anything to anyone. That's my ultimate goal. I kind of want to just wander around the world with nothing to my name. I don't even need a name. I could fake my death and start over somewhere else as my real self. The girl no one has ever seen or known, except the One being who created me and knows me through and through. I think I need human beings to be satisfied, but I don't. I know I am created as a relational creature, however the thought of being relational with anyone right now makes me shudder. Don't get me wrong, I love people, but right now Most People is on my last nerve. I have to go to work tomorrow and see Most People. I have to come home and see Most People. I have to wake up and see Most People. Everywhere I go Most People is following me.

Release me from this inward focus. Teach me to be content in every situation as Paul was. I need to eat of the fruit and mostly I need to give out the fruit. But right now everything has gone horribly askew and even my feet have fallen asleep. Can anything go right today? Anything? Bueller? Bueller?

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