That was when I ruled the world

I wrote this a few months ago and want to keep it around:

The desires of my heart? Know more about my King; Making music; Getting married; Going to different churches overseas; I want to live like the early Church; Learn another language; Give hope to people; Jesus is the center of all my relationships; Pray more; Know more about the Spirit; Do miracles; Be a pioneer. Not a rebel.

Sometimes I actually consider becoming anorexic! Can you believe that? I'm going through one of those no confidence phases. The biggest mountain in my life keeping me from seeing God's glory is comparing myself to other people. I'm not as fit as her, I'm not as good at guitar as him, I am not as good as the super nanny, I don't look good in that kind of dress, etcetera.

I need God to speak to me more. I remember praying in my dreams! I miss that. My mind and spirit were so focused on God that my dreams were about Him. That's what I want every night.

Here's something I read today that I believe is for me from God:

O My Beloved, abide under the shelter of the lattice-for I have betrothed thee unto Myself, and though ye are sometimes indifferent toward Me, My love for thee is at all times as a flame of fire. My ardor never cools. My longing for thy love and affection is deep and constant.

Tarry not for an opportunity to have more time to be alone with Me. Take it, though ye leave the tasks at hand. Nothing will suffer. Things are of less importance than ye think. Our time together is like a garden full of flowers, whereas the time ye give to things is as a field full of stubble.

I love thee, and if ye can always, as it were, feel My pulsebeat, ye shall know many things the knowledge of which shall give thee sustaining strength. I bare thy sins and wish to carry thy burdens. Ye may have the gift of a light and merry heart. My love bower is the place where ye shall find it, for My love dispels all fear and is a cure for every ill. Lay thy head upon My breat and lose thyself in Me. Thou shalt experience resurrection life and peace; the joy of the Lord shall become thy strength; and wells of salvation shall be opened within thee.

Lord, make those truths known in my life. Let me dream about You tonight and give me strength to love Ryley with a pure heart tomorrow.