I eat my candy with pork and beans

Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.
For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.
- matthew 6:13-14 -

I looked at a whole ton of pictures today of the Lonavala campus at the U of N Pune. That is the exact campus I will be staying at while I am in India. The pictures I thought, would help ease my mind on the craziness of India, but they did not at all. In fact they did the exact opposite. I did not see hardly any "Americans" in the pictures, granted they were taken a few years ago. I still was worried that I would be the only person from the U.S. there. Why does this scare me? I usually run with the idea of spending time with people of other cultures. My favorite people in New Zealand were the Koreans, and I fell in love with a Fijian! I jump at the opportunity to be with people who aren't familiar with the "American" way of life. I should be even more excited to go to India because of this observation, yet I am hardly there. All I can think is, "this is going to be the most challenging thing I've ever done!", "This is going to be so hard!", "what am I getting myself into?" Which is exactly what God wants. It's a hard way, a narrow way, but the only way. I am so thankful I didn't choose Montana or England. Although England isn't sounding so bad. But, New Zealand wasn't a far off stretch from the American culture. India is going to be a whole new ball game. Nothing familiar at all. Even in Europe it was easy. Vanuatu was hard, but not incredibly crowded, and a very simple way of life.

My promises are of no avail to you except as you apply and appropriate them by faith. In your daily walk, you will be victorious only to the degree that you trust Me. I can help you only as you ask. I will meet you at every point where you put action alongside prayers. Only as you walk will the waters of adversity be parted before you. Overburdened as the world is with trouble and sickness, I need those who have proved My sufficiency in everyday, personal experience to lead the suffering to the fountains of life. I need those who have found Me as burden-bearer to help bring deliverance to the oppressed...
...No case is too hard for Me. Never be taken by surprise when I use you to change a pattern. "Faith and Action" - Francis J. Roberts

I Will Walk With Integrity

I will sing of steadfast love and justice;
to you, O Lord, I will make music.
I will ponder the way that is blameless.
Oh when will you come to me?
I will walk with integrity of heart within my house;
I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless.
I hate the work of those who fall away;
it shall not cling to me.
A perverse heart shall be far from me;
I will know nothing of evil.


Please let that be me, O Lord. Mold me into this person. Make me blameless. Let me not be tempted by evil things. My desire right now is to be all that you want me to be. It shouldn't take a human to make me want to be better. It should be you. Granted you came as a human but also as God. Give me holy dreams. Show me eternity. Open my eyes to holy things unseen. I am yours, Father. I am yours.

People are just people, they shouldn't make you nervous

Oh my goodness.
I am so nervous about this India business. I feel like there are 7,432 things I need to do before I leave and right now it seems so complicated and hard and nerve-wracking and terrifying and impossible and unrealistic. But I know that with God all things are possible! Why, this time, do I doubt His provision and His peace? Why am I so worried about this? I must bring this into the light.

I am not working tomorrow because I'm afraid I have tonsillitis and I don't want the family to get it. It doesn't hurt much, but it's annoying having a swollen throat and when I sleep it seems to get worse. Because I'm not working tomorrow I think I'll go somewhere quiet and spend the day with my Father. That would be amazing. I pray the weather is nice tomorrow so I can go hide away in nature somewhere. I want to write a song tomorrow! I want to hear your voice tomorrow! I want to find a piece of my identity tomorrow! I want to feel peace tomorrow! I want to intercede tomorrow! I want to see your glory tomorrow!

I am getting overwhelmed here. So many things are going on in my life right now. I am looking to move home from St. Paul, but the same time I'm supposed to try to move home my family is moving to a new house and we're supposed to be having this giant rummage sale for me! I also have to apply for a Visa for India sooner than later but not too soon. I need plane tickets which is turning out to be hard since my return flight is too far in the future for them to book anything. I must get $8,000 dollars somewhere. I can't think about this anymore. I'll be up all night tossing and turning wondering how this stuff is going to fall into place if I write anymore about it.

Father, I know you are in control of this. I know that you will provide for me. I give my concerns and worries to you right now. Please calm my body and my senses and my nerves. Make my heart HUGE! I want to not be concerned with how things are going to get accomplished but work on healing things before I leave. Please put my priorities in the right places. Reveal to me what my priorities should be this week so that I can work on them in a good way, a pleasing way to you. I only want to glorify you with this decision and stressing out about all the details isn't doing that. I want to trust you completely. I want to be open with friends and family here and share my worries and doubts. I pray that you'll bring me confirmation for India so that I have an awesome testimony to how great you are.

May the Lord do what is good in His sight.