I cannot decide if I'm falling in love or if I'm just simply loving the fact that someone loves me. He really cares about me. He really does love me. He really does make me laugh. He really is a sweetheart. He looks out for me. He keeps me in check with my heart. He makes me noodles when I'm sick. He apologizes for not responding to an SMS. He gave me his bandanna while he's gone for the week. He wrote a song for me. He calls me every night. He gives me space when I need it without asking questions. He's happy just to see me from across the room. He likes the real me, even though I haven't quite showed that to him yet. He has the greatest memory in the world which really compliments my lack of memory. He told me he wants me to be the last girl he kisses. The last girl he calls "his". The last girl he loves. How can I comprehend the way he loves me when I do not even love myself. Girls still struggle with loving themselves even when they're being pursued and truly loved by a man. This is what I always wanted, and I thought this would make my self-image struggles melt away, but I realize now that the only person that can cause me to love myself is God, and also myself. No one else can help me see who I truly am through God's eyes but us. Me and God. He is my true Love. My one true Father who loves me perfectly, clearly, truly, honestly, steadfastly, never-ending, never-failing, righteous, holy, pure, amazing, beautiful love. That's how my God loves me.
So I'll cross my heart
And hope to die
Before I have a chance to lie
To you my dear
Who I wish no harm
But I know in the end this will turn out wrong
See I've been known to fall in love
But sometimes love just is not enough
And my heart will stray before too long
So please just listen when I sing this song
I sing this song
May 6, 2009
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