Dear orthodox
I can't control my feelings
And who hit me? I just might be coming 'roung the bush
And my stilts, they began cracking, subsequently pushed
And I look to see that it was she
Just some abandoned little crook like me
Adieu, adieu and fair thee well
This was the ending plea
I was attached on bended knee
But I declined my lead
But who could blame a fraction of her being?
She is cheesy, she is scrawny with her uncanny styling
I'm teasing, she is pleasing
She just has no wit
And I'm sorry I don't have her face
And I'm probably going to lose this race
There is no doubt she's such a mouse with
Such an abstract grace
There is no cure, I am sure
For this ten cent blues
Then she chose to dissect me
And I was casted into poverty
But I did not agree with her
She said, "Now you've got nerve"
But I don't care if I'm granted for all these things
If I were one among this crowd
Would you call that defeat?
In a way it's making me crazy
In a sense that it's making me stronger
A likely chance and it's probably proven
In the end we'll all walk away
Shaking hands on the doormats, I salute you sir
A stranger end, a happy fit so glad I'm part of it and that I saw it al
November 8, 2007
November 6, 2007
Some days aren't yours at all.
I am finding life has it's twists and turns. Things you never even considered happening 3 weeks ago are in full force right now. People you didn't miss all that much suddenly become so important in your life. A little bit of snow makes you want to move to a warmer climate effective immediately. I tried writing a song last night. I don't know if it's right yet, but at least I'm writing again or at least trying to. I'm super tired today! Tuesdays have become the new Monday in my life. I can't stay up late Monday nights, but CSI:Miami is on at 9, so I have to.
I've been thinking a lot lately about my life. Somewhere along the lines of I have only one life on this planet. Why be afraid of anything but God? Why get nervous? Why be shy? I mean really, I am almost 22 years old, I have approximately 65 years left on this planet. That's not a whole lot of time. I need to do something bigger than being a nanny and paying off my bills. I really would sell everything I own to move somewhere else and start over, but that's not what I'm supposed to do. When the time comes for something big, it's going to be a lot harder than that. I pray that it's what I love to do. Not that I won't love to do what I'm going to do for the rest of my life, but I pray that I love it right now and don't have to come to love it.
Golly, I don't even know if I'm making any sense here. Writing thoughts out always helps me get out what I'm thinking...since I don't really have anyone to tell my thoughts and dreams to right now.
Is it okay to want to strangle the children you baby-sit?
It's weird how something that most of the world does today happens in my life and it affects me so much. I hurt so much from these small things the world tells me are okay. I feel like most of the world is broken. Everyone I meet is human. I have to keep reminding myself of that. I have a habit of putting people up on high things like nothing can touch them, not even me, then after something amazing yet horrible happens and I realize they are human. Just like me. How can something so horrible be what is wanted in this life? How can something so "small" and "ordinary" change my outlook on a person so much so that I don't care if I ever see them again or talk to them. Someone please come up and shake some sense into me. Grab my shoulders and shake as hard as you can. Please?
I've been thinking a lot lately about my life. Somewhere along the lines of I have only one life on this planet. Why be afraid of anything but God? Why get nervous? Why be shy? I mean really, I am almost 22 years old, I have approximately 65 years left on this planet. That's not a whole lot of time. I need to do something bigger than being a nanny and paying off my bills. I really would sell everything I own to move somewhere else and start over, but that's not what I'm supposed to do. When the time comes for something big, it's going to be a lot harder than that. I pray that it's what I love to do. Not that I won't love to do what I'm going to do for the rest of my life, but I pray that I love it right now and don't have to come to love it.
Golly, I don't even know if I'm making any sense here. Writing thoughts out always helps me get out what I'm thinking...since I don't really have anyone to tell my thoughts and dreams to right now.
Is it okay to want to strangle the children you baby-sit?
It's weird how something that most of the world does today happens in my life and it affects me so much. I hurt so much from these small things the world tells me are okay. I feel like most of the world is broken. Everyone I meet is human. I have to keep reminding myself of that. I have a habit of putting people up on high things like nothing can touch them, not even me, then after something amazing yet horrible happens and I realize they are human. Just like me. How can something so horrible be what is wanted in this life? How can something so "small" and "ordinary" change my outlook on a person so much so that I don't care if I ever see them again or talk to them. Someone please come up and shake some sense into me. Grab my shoulders and shake as hard as you can. Please?
November 1, 2007
You are my sweetest downfall.
Wow. I can't believe I'm googling someone's name.
I met someone last night who wowed me. There aren't many people I meet these days that do that. I guess if I looked hard enough everyone I meet would wow me somehow, but this one was a caught-off-guard-wowing. I didn't even know this person was going to be there and bada-bing bada-boom. There they were. In all their human quirkyness. Oh how I love human quirkyness. I wish I could have stayed longer. I wish I could have had long conversations into the morning with said person. I'd like to hang out with them again, but it may seem odd. Odd for them of course.
Oh well, chances are I'll never see them again anyway. It sometimes sucks being the woman in all of this. I feel like I can't do any of the contacting and asking to hang out. It's like I have to just wait around for some man to want to get to know me. How lame is that? If you knew me, you'd know I can't wait for anything, let alone someone to come sweep me off my feet.
Jeepers.
Life is so complicated sometimes.
I met someone last night who wowed me. There aren't many people I meet these days that do that. I guess if I looked hard enough everyone I meet would wow me somehow, but this one was a caught-off-guard-wowing. I didn't even know this person was going to be there and bada-bing bada-boom. There they were. In all their human quirkyness. Oh how I love human quirkyness. I wish I could have stayed longer. I wish I could have had long conversations into the morning with said person. I'd like to hang out with them again, but it may seem odd. Odd for them of course.
Oh well, chances are I'll never see them again anyway. It sometimes sucks being the woman in all of this. I feel like I can't do any of the contacting and asking to hang out. It's like I have to just wait around for some man to want to get to know me. How lame is that? If you knew me, you'd know I can't wait for anything, let alone someone to come sweep me off my feet.
Jeepers.
Life is so complicated sometimes.
October 25, 2007
Poor little rich girl.
I found out about this awesome free concert at the Landmark Center every Thursday. It was on a kid's website, so I assumed kids would like it. I decided to take Ryley. It started at noon and it said to bring your own lunch to eat there. We went to Whole Foods and bought some bread and lunch meat for sandwiches then we went to the bank to get some cash for parking. Arriving at my apartment we made our sandwiches and packed our cookies and fruit for a nice, healthy lunch in downtown St. Paul.
We got to the Landmark Center about 25 minutes early, so we kinda walked around for a bit. I parked at a meter. I decided meters suck. They cost 1.75 for 1 hour and you can only put an hour in it at a time! If you put more in it does not matter. So incredibly lame. Like I was going to leave in the middle of the concert to put more money in the meter. So, we went back into the car for a few minutes to warm up and waste time before heading into the building. I put my keys in cup holder as I usually do, and before I knew it it was time to go inside! So we get out of the car and as most of you know we have to manually lock all the doors cause my key button does not work, so I locked and closed my door, then I reminded Ryley to lock her door before she closed it. She of course had forgotten until I reminded her and 45 seconds after closing the doors and walking towards the building I realized my keys were still in my cup holder inside my car. Now this is my first experience with locking my keys in my car. It has never happened in my 5 years of driving until this very moment. Fortunately I had my wallet with me and I am a AAA platinum member, so I called AAA and they said someone would be out in the next hour.
We went up to see the concert and as I walked into the room all I saw was a sea of grey. It was all elderly people who came to these concerts apparently. Ryley and I stuck out like a sore thumb. It was cool though. They had a three-piece ensemble today. A basoon, Oboe, and Flute. It was too loud for Ryley though and we left after the first song, plus I was really nervous we wouldn't be outside in time for the AAA guy. So, we went downstairs and outside to eat our lunch and wait for the phone call to say the tow truck was 5 minutes away.
As we're eating a man walks up to me and asks if I have any money for him. He said he hasn't eaten in 4 days. I am a bit reluctant to give him money because all I had was a 5 and a 10 I thought "if only I had a few ones I'd be quick to give" but I gave him my $5 and he said thank you and walked away. He said he was going to go to Chipotle, but walked in the other direction. So, as I'm sitting there wondering if I really should have done that Ryley says, "That guy was nice!" and I said, "yeah, i guess, he wasn't mean" and she said, "I can't believe he hasn't eaten in 4 days! That's so long." and then it hit me. She's 4 years old. She pretty much believes anything she sees or hears and it reminded me of having faith like a child. He said he hadn't eaten for 4 days, so I have to take his word for it. Ryley genuinely felt bad for him because she didn't know anything else. I want that. We're constantly surrounded by people who say not to give them money cause they'll just spend it on cigarettes or alcohol, but what about the people who are telling the truth when they say they haven't eaten for days or need a bus ticket? They get nothing because of the others who lie? That's so dumb. We get so angry because people make assumptions about a race or a religion or a country because a handful of people did something horrible, when in all actuality the majority is alright!
Okay, so major soapbox there.
Anyway, the AAA woman came a little after 1:00. Yes, I said woman. She unlocked my door in like 1 minute and was the most friendly person I've ever met! She told me a few pointers about my car and complimented my shoes and told me of some kind of like it I can buy at payless with a AAA discount! Who knew? Then she complimented me on the use of my e-brake. I liked that cause everyone makes fun of me for using it, but my dad told me to, and she said the same thing my dad did. "you don't use it ,you lose it" so here I am talking to this woman about nannying and cars. It was great. I reckon I should call AAA and give my regards.
So, pretty good day all in all. I wasn't even mad that I locked my keys in the car. it was a fun adventure!
We got to the Landmark Center about 25 minutes early, so we kinda walked around for a bit. I parked at a meter. I decided meters suck. They cost 1.75 for 1 hour and you can only put an hour in it at a time! If you put more in it does not matter. So incredibly lame. Like I was going to leave in the middle of the concert to put more money in the meter. So, we went back into the car for a few minutes to warm up and waste time before heading into the building. I put my keys in cup holder as I usually do, and before I knew it it was time to go inside! So we get out of the car and as most of you know we have to manually lock all the doors cause my key button does not work, so I locked and closed my door, then I reminded Ryley to lock her door before she closed it. She of course had forgotten until I reminded her and 45 seconds after closing the doors and walking towards the building I realized my keys were still in my cup holder inside my car. Now this is my first experience with locking my keys in my car. It has never happened in my 5 years of driving until this very moment. Fortunately I had my wallet with me and I am a AAA platinum member, so I called AAA and they said someone would be out in the next hour.
We went up to see the concert and as I walked into the room all I saw was a sea of grey. It was all elderly people who came to these concerts apparently. Ryley and I stuck out like a sore thumb. It was cool though. They had a three-piece ensemble today. A basoon, Oboe, and Flute. It was too loud for Ryley though and we left after the first song, plus I was really nervous we wouldn't be outside in time for the AAA guy. So, we went downstairs and outside to eat our lunch and wait for the phone call to say the tow truck was 5 minutes away.
As we're eating a man walks up to me and asks if I have any money for him. He said he hasn't eaten in 4 days. I am a bit reluctant to give him money because all I had was a 5 and a 10 I thought "if only I had a few ones I'd be quick to give" but I gave him my $5 and he said thank you and walked away. He said he was going to go to Chipotle, but walked in the other direction. So, as I'm sitting there wondering if I really should have done that Ryley says, "That guy was nice!" and I said, "yeah, i guess, he wasn't mean" and she said, "I can't believe he hasn't eaten in 4 days! That's so long." and then it hit me. She's 4 years old. She pretty much believes anything she sees or hears and it reminded me of having faith like a child. He said he hadn't eaten for 4 days, so I have to take his word for it. Ryley genuinely felt bad for him because she didn't know anything else. I want that. We're constantly surrounded by people who say not to give them money cause they'll just spend it on cigarettes or alcohol, but what about the people who are telling the truth when they say they haven't eaten for days or need a bus ticket? They get nothing because of the others who lie? That's so dumb. We get so angry because people make assumptions about a race or a religion or a country because a handful of people did something horrible, when in all actuality the majority is alright!
Okay, so major soapbox there.
Anyway, the AAA woman came a little after 1:00. Yes, I said woman. She unlocked my door in like 1 minute and was the most friendly person I've ever met! She told me a few pointers about my car and complimented my shoes and told me of some kind of like it I can buy at payless with a AAA discount! Who knew? Then she complimented me on the use of my e-brake. I liked that cause everyone makes fun of me for using it, but my dad told me to, and she said the same thing my dad did. "you don't use it ,you lose it" so here I am talking to this woman about nannying and cars. It was great. I reckon I should call AAA and give my regards.
So, pretty good day all in all. I wasn't even mad that I locked my keys in the car. it was a fun adventure!
October 22, 2007
Carbon Monoxide. Soon I'll go to sleep.
Okay, so I admit, I am more depressed than I think I have ever been in my life. There are few triggers of this. One that includes an asshole I cannot seem to forget no matter how hard I try. Life was good in New Zealand away from this person for 5 months. I was happy, but ever since I've been home this jerkwad has caused nothing but pain, low self-esteem, and heartache. Granted it wasn't all the SOB's fault. If I could practice self-control I would be okay right now, but I am not the confident woman I try to be. It seems as though I cannot become this confident woman I wish so hard for. I don't know the steps to take to get there at least. I always tell myself if I just read my Bible more often. If I just pray for other people more often. If I just stop eating so much. If I just start working out again on a regular basis. If I could just stop spending my money on useless crap. If, If, If, If, If, If, IF!!!
Another trigger of my depression is friends. I know my worth should not be based on how many friends I have, but damn, I don't have many anymore. You go overseas for awhile and make a bunch of new friends then come home and none of the other ones want to hang out anymore. Mostly because you only talk about the new ones, and mostly because you have changed a lot and your old friends don't so much like the new you, or at least that's what you think. I used to be involved. I used to be committed. Now I'm disconnected and apathetic for the most part. Don't think this is YWAM's fault. Don't blame them. They have been nothing short of amazing in my life. It is of course my fault. I lost my passion somewhere along the way. I seem to have misplaced my value. My integrity has gone missing. All because of me. There's no one to blame here but me for all of this.
Work is a bit stressful, but in no way is it depressing. I just feel worn out at the end of every week. Which is the way you should feel I guess when you have a full-time job. Especially one with children. It's like a taste of motherhood before I'm even dating anywone. It almost turns me off to the whole "I want 3 boys" dream I've always had. Though, I don't think anything could ever turn me off to the whole "I want to get married someday" dream.
Speaking of getting married. That is another depressing factor in my life. Everyone is getting married. Or has already gotten married. I used to be great friends with some of them. After people get married they change. Heck, before people get married they change. I hope that I'm one that doesn't change too much. I still will hopefully answer my phone after I get married. But no worries yet, I don't see that happening for maybe a decade. I'm what you call a "sister" figure to every boy I've ever loved. Or thought I loved. I talked to a nice guy today at a music store on Snelling. I bet as he was talking to me he thought to himself, "she reminds me of my sister." Perhaps I am such a sister-type person because that's all I've ever been. A sister. I used to hang out with the guys and thought nothing of it...up until I started liking guys, then it all went downhill. I'm the type of person who falls in like with someone so quickly. I don't know how it even happens. 2 minutes ago I didn't know you existed, now you're all I can think about. Have I been cursed? Someone lay hands on me and pray now!
I miss the intensity of intercession and worship in New Zealand. I'm glad The Edge is here every so often on Saturdays. I don't know what I'd do without that. Probably become an alcoholic and sleep around. I need to get into the swing of things again. I need to start up a new chapter in my life. I'm almost 22! I have to grow up sometime! Am i right? I need to have the faith of a child, but mature in my faith? How the hell does that even make sense? I mean seriously. God is confusing. All the time. Not just sometimes. All the time. I will never understand Him or know Him. Why even try you might ask, well, when I do try I am a better person. Not all the time. Only a little bit of the time really. Most of the time I hate my life and everything in it and I do really dumb things, but there's always that hope that maybe tomorrow I'll do something awesome for a stranger, or a friend, or a family member. Maybe tomorrow will be a good day. Maybe tomorrow I'll change the world. Maybe tomorrow I'll do better. Maybe tomorrow God will speak to me. Then, one of these things does happen eventually and it makes the months of hard work all seem like nothing. You forget them alltogether and only focus on the Holy. The happy. The miracle. After a few days you might get back into a slump, but you never forget that one amazing moment and hope for another one and press on into the darkness that is life. I can't see where I'm going. I don't know what to expect. I do know though, that He is always with me. Jesus is here. Right now. I'm the one that leaves him behind. Well, I go behind while He sticks around just waiting for me to realize what I was doing before this thing distracted me. Lord, I'm sick of distractions. I wish they didn't exist, but thank you for them. Every single thing that makes life hard is not a mistake. It is what it is. Hard. It eventually moves on. Thank you for refining me more and more. Most of all, thank you for being powerful and creating all things; for allowing the hurt and sadness; for loving me always, through thick and thin. You are my all in all. This is true. I am weak now Lord, please be my strength. Only You can change me.
Another trigger of my depression is friends. I know my worth should not be based on how many friends I have, but damn, I don't have many anymore. You go overseas for awhile and make a bunch of new friends then come home and none of the other ones want to hang out anymore. Mostly because you only talk about the new ones, and mostly because you have changed a lot and your old friends don't so much like the new you, or at least that's what you think. I used to be involved. I used to be committed. Now I'm disconnected and apathetic for the most part. Don't think this is YWAM's fault. Don't blame them. They have been nothing short of amazing in my life. It is of course my fault. I lost my passion somewhere along the way. I seem to have misplaced my value. My integrity has gone missing. All because of me. There's no one to blame here but me for all of this.
Work is a bit stressful, but in no way is it depressing. I just feel worn out at the end of every week. Which is the way you should feel I guess when you have a full-time job. Especially one with children. It's like a taste of motherhood before I'm even dating anywone. It almost turns me off to the whole "I want 3 boys" dream I've always had. Though, I don't think anything could ever turn me off to the whole "I want to get married someday" dream.
Speaking of getting married. That is another depressing factor in my life. Everyone is getting married. Or has already gotten married. I used to be great friends with some of them. After people get married they change. Heck, before people get married they change. I hope that I'm one that doesn't change too much. I still will hopefully answer my phone after I get married. But no worries yet, I don't see that happening for maybe a decade. I'm what you call a "sister" figure to every boy I've ever loved. Or thought I loved. I talked to a nice guy today at a music store on Snelling. I bet as he was talking to me he thought to himself, "she reminds me of my sister." Perhaps I am such a sister-type person because that's all I've ever been. A sister. I used to hang out with the guys and thought nothing of it...up until I started liking guys, then it all went downhill. I'm the type of person who falls in like with someone so quickly. I don't know how it even happens. 2 minutes ago I didn't know you existed, now you're all I can think about. Have I been cursed? Someone lay hands on me and pray now!
I miss the intensity of intercession and worship in New Zealand. I'm glad The Edge is here every so often on Saturdays. I don't know what I'd do without that. Probably become an alcoholic and sleep around. I need to get into the swing of things again. I need to start up a new chapter in my life. I'm almost 22! I have to grow up sometime! Am i right? I need to have the faith of a child, but mature in my faith? How the hell does that even make sense? I mean seriously. God is confusing. All the time. Not just sometimes. All the time. I will never understand Him or know Him. Why even try you might ask, well, when I do try I am a better person. Not all the time. Only a little bit of the time really. Most of the time I hate my life and everything in it and I do really dumb things, but there's always that hope that maybe tomorrow I'll do something awesome for a stranger, or a friend, or a family member. Maybe tomorrow will be a good day. Maybe tomorrow I'll change the world. Maybe tomorrow I'll do better. Maybe tomorrow God will speak to me. Then, one of these things does happen eventually and it makes the months of hard work all seem like nothing. You forget them alltogether and only focus on the Holy. The happy. The miracle. After a few days you might get back into a slump, but you never forget that one amazing moment and hope for another one and press on into the darkness that is life. I can't see where I'm going. I don't know what to expect. I do know though, that He is always with me. Jesus is here. Right now. I'm the one that leaves him behind. Well, I go behind while He sticks around just waiting for me to realize what I was doing before this thing distracted me. Lord, I'm sick of distractions. I wish they didn't exist, but thank you for them. Every single thing that makes life hard is not a mistake. It is what it is. Hard. It eventually moves on. Thank you for refining me more and more. Most of all, thank you for being powerful and creating all things; for allowing the hurt and sadness; for loving me always, through thick and thin. You are my all in all. This is true. I am weak now Lord, please be my strength. Only You can change me.
September 17, 2007
Go away from my window.
Feelings. Why must we have them? I hate them sometimes. I like them sometimes. Right now I hate them.
I had a dream two nights ago that was a little frightening. Do you ever have dreams where someone or something bad is after you and you suddenly cannot talk? As hard as you try to call for help or say anything you just can't get anything out. Like your throat stops working. I had another one of those dreams last night, but i was about to take a bath and suddenly heard someone say my name quietly, then all of a sudden this shadow jumped out at me and said my name again and I tried to say "Jesus Christ" over and over but could not get it out.
On a lighter note...the band I am in played a show on Saturday and Sunday night. Saturday's show was awesome! It was at the neighbor's house of my nanny family. They had a huge end of Summer luau and there were a ton of people there and they loved us! It was our first paying gig. Hopefully not our last. Then, Sunday we played at the Underground Music Cafe. It was their 2 year anniversary and their last one ever. It was sad they're done cause that's pretty much the only place we play since Segue closed. Now we have nothing. Nowhere. Sunday's show wasn't as amazing cause we were all pretty tired and somewhat lethargic. Plus we were nervous for some strange reason. I attributed it all to the fact that we did not pray before we played.
I need more prayer in my life. Lots more.
I am trying to be like those confident women. You know the ones who you never hear utter a word about men. They always talk about God, their families, or work. Just life in general, but they never include the topic of "men". I am going to try to eliminate "men" from my vocabulary. I want to be one of those confident women. Ones who don't care so much how others, especially men, perceive them.
I'm finding myself wanting to become inredibly passionate about Christ, but lacking the motivation to do so.
I had a dream two nights ago that was a little frightening. Do you ever have dreams where someone or something bad is after you and you suddenly cannot talk? As hard as you try to call for help or say anything you just can't get anything out. Like your throat stops working. I had another one of those dreams last night, but i was about to take a bath and suddenly heard someone say my name quietly, then all of a sudden this shadow jumped out at me and said my name again and I tried to say "Jesus Christ" over and over but could not get it out.
On a lighter note...the band I am in played a show on Saturday and Sunday night. Saturday's show was awesome! It was at the neighbor's house of my nanny family. They had a huge end of Summer luau and there were a ton of people there and they loved us! It was our first paying gig. Hopefully not our last. Then, Sunday we played at the Underground Music Cafe. It was their 2 year anniversary and their last one ever. It was sad they're done cause that's pretty much the only place we play since Segue closed. Now we have nothing. Nowhere. Sunday's show wasn't as amazing cause we were all pretty tired and somewhat lethargic. Plus we were nervous for some strange reason. I attributed it all to the fact that we did not pray before we played.
I need more prayer in my life. Lots more.
I am trying to be like those confident women. You know the ones who you never hear utter a word about men. They always talk about God, their families, or work. Just life in general, but they never include the topic of "men". I am going to try to eliminate "men" from my vocabulary. I want to be one of those confident women. Ones who don't care so much how others, especially men, perceive them.
I'm finding myself wanting to become inredibly passionate about Christ, but lacking the motivation to do so.
August 27, 2007
I Don't Want to Waste Your Time
I don’t wanna waste your time
With music you don’t need
Why should I autograph the book
That you won’t even read
I’ve got a different scar for every song
And blood left still to bleed
But I don’t wanna waste your time
With music you don’t need
I don’t wanna waste good wine
If you won’t stick around
I love to laugh but I’m more than just
Your alcoholic clown
I won’t pray this prayer with you
Unless we both kneel down
I don’t wanna waste good wine
If you won’t stick around
Come on lighten up
Let me fill your cup
I’m just trying to imagine a situation
Where we might have a real conversation
But I don’t wanna waste the words
That you don’t seem to need
When it comes to wanting what’s real
There’s no such thing as greed
I hope this night puts down deep roots
I hope we plant a seed
‘Cause I don’t wanna waste your time
With music you don’t need
With music you don’t need
Why should I autograph the book
That you won’t even read
I’ve got a different scar for every song
And blood left still to bleed
But I don’t wanna waste your time
With music you don’t need
I don’t wanna waste good wine
If you won’t stick around
I love to laugh but I’m more than just
Your alcoholic clown
I won’t pray this prayer with you
Unless we both kneel down
I don’t wanna waste good wine
If you won’t stick around
Come on lighten up
Let me fill your cup
I’m just trying to imagine a situation
Where we might have a real conversation
But I don’t wanna waste the words
That you don’t seem to need
When it comes to wanting what’s real
There’s no such thing as greed
I hope this night puts down deep roots
I hope we plant a seed
‘Cause I don’t wanna waste your time
With music you don’t need
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